Celebrating Birthdays

One of the reasons for returning to Las Vegas in August (are you kidding me … the desert in the height of summer???), was to celebrate David's older sister Karen's 75th birthday. It's been giving us food for thought … 75 years old. That's how old your grandmother is or maybe your mother, but not your sister. Her daughter, Jill, our niece, flew up from Florida to help us celebrate … she's in her 50s. Really? When did all this happen? Where did the years go? “When did she grow to be a beauty? When did he grow to be so tall? Wasn't it yesterday that they were small?” Oh, our parents realized it and told us, but who listens to parents?

The sibs (David, his brother and two sisters and me) have decided that each birthday should count now. Who knows how long we'll all be around and together and have David's mom with us to top it off? The 5-year birthdays are especially important and any year after age 90 is major cause for celebration.

Karen chose grilled salmon and veggies for her birthday meal with an ice cream cake (not big enough to accommodate all the candles, I'm afraid) for dessert … and enough wine to keep the spirits high. The celebration was lively with nine of us around the dining room table. Rebecca (our 98-year-old mum) and her friend, Darrell, escaped their assisted living digs and spent the day with us, too. Everyone seemed to enjoy the festivities. Just all being together was a reason to celebrate.

As we grow older, the togetherness and the family unit seem to be more and more important. We help each other. We cherish the times we spend together and hope for many more. Perhaps it's part of the aging process that we recognize our own mortality and that we want to grasp it all for as long as possible. We get up early each morning … let no minutes escape. Let the hard times and harsh words go with the years. Carpe diem, carpe diem!

Surviving Pandemonium

Pandemonium – wild uproar or unrestrained disorder; tumult or chaos. It's also the capital of Hell in John Milton's epic poem Paradise Lost. “Capital of Hell” is a little strong, but unrestrained disorder … yup, that's been our lives for the last few days. We've been working hard, things are in total disarray, we can't remember where anything is … it's at one house or the other. We're all short-tempered, tired and ready to be done with the move, but still it goes on … and on.

We've been discarding things left and right. They don't fit; we won't use them; perhaps they're broken or just obsolete (audio tapes? VCR movies?) Half of them have been moved to the new house. We've had one moving sale and another is scheduled for next weekend. We've managed to lose all the signs we made. Where could they have gone? We picked them up after the last sale and it's only been a week for heaven's sake. I'm sure they'll turn up AFTER we need them.

We've really tried to keep the disorder to a minimum, but with five of us moving stuff and buying stuff, it's been pretty much impossible. Amazon is doing a land office business this month with just the Lynn clan purchases. We've cobbled together some of Mary's old furniture with thrift shop and consignment store buys. We've been haunting Craigslist and came up with a dining room set. We call it “eclectic” styling and thus far, it seems to work.

Hopefully, the chaos will soon lead to order. We each seem to have our realm of responsibility and have concentrated on settling those areas. Little by little, we see progress being made. Soon we anticipate that peace will descend. Paul will head off trucking to places currently unspecified. David and I will return to Nine of Cups in Trinidad. Mary and Karen will settle into a routine in the new house and get to know the new neighbors in the new neighborhood. By next year at this time, the moving pandemonium will be a distant memory … and we will have survived.

An Experiment in Sibling-ship

“You've bought a new house? Are you swallowing the anchor?” and the unequivocal answer is “No”. Then why buy a house in the middle of the desert? Well, it's an experiment that seems to make sense. David has three sibs … all unattached. It seemed to make sense to pool our resources, find a large enough house to accommodate us all and live together. It's not a new concept. Multi-generational families having been sharing homes for all time. Some countries and ethnic groups do it more often than others. So sibs sharing a house isn't all that unusual. It's not as common in the USA, but we figured we'd give it a try.

Having family living together provides a built-in support system, a sharing of responsibility and finances and a wonderful way for families to meld and take care of each other as they age. There are drawbacks, of course. We've all been independent for most of our lives, living apart from the sibs and making our own way in the world. We have different philosophies, different politics, different tastes in decorating and style. Now there are others who need to be consulted before you paint a room lavender or buy new living room furniture. We don't necessarily need total consensus, but it's nice when there's some agreement.

Honestly, over the past few weeks when stress levels have been particularly high and we're all exhausted from the move, we've had our moments. We've bickered and squabbled a bit. We've disagreed. But so far, the experiment seems to be working. Everyone has managed to compromise enough to accommodate a peaceful co-existence.