America's greatest exports

When it comes to America's greatest exports, we see them all the time … fast food chains. Oh, the rest of the world watches our TV shows and movies and listens to our music, but they gobble up the fast food just as quickly as we do in the States. In fact, some might argue, they're gobbling it up faster. We admit it. We stopped at McDonald's frequently when we were traveling the US this past summer. Senior coffees were offered for half price and I could get an order of scrambled eggs for $1.49. David likes the Quarter-pounder (without cheese); I really like their fresh salads though Burger King's are better. No fries, no milkshakes (well, maybe sometimes!). We'd stop at Burger King and pick up my salad and then go to McDonald's for David's burger and the free wifi. We're equal-opportunity fast foodies.

In South America, the predominant chain we saw was the Colonel's Kentucky Fried Chicken. Even in the most remote areas of Ecuador or Peru, the familiar white-bearded Southern gentleman stood out in a crowd. He was most noticeable in the food courts of larger malls, but you'd just as likely see him in smaller towns. The lines waiting for the Colonel were longer than anywhere else.

I remember seeing a Dunkin Donuts in downtown Salinas, Ecuador and it blew my mind. The donuts tasted nothing like an American donut (we tried one only for the experience), but the line was long and the donuts were selling like hotcakes at a premium price.

Hungry Jacks aka Burger King, Dominos and Pizza Hut all have a presence here in Australia. Hungry Jack's has the pitiful honor of having both the #1 and #2 worst nutritional meals on their menu. Subway is the largest food chain in Australia based on the number of stores they have, but McDonald's has nearly 20% of the fast food market share compared to Subway's 2%. Australia is the world's 11th largest fast food nation. They'll spend over $37 million on “take away food” in 2012. Like the US, Australia is fighting an obesity war.

Mickey D's probably does the best job of marketing wherever we've been, capitalizing on the local foods and language to corral folks in and offer them what they want, fast. When we were in Quebec, Canada, McDonald's offered McHomard , a lobster salad sandwich in a hot dog bun. They offered the same thing as McLobster in Connecticut. In Uruguay and Argentina, they offered hot mate, the local drink of choice, on the beverage menu.

Australia is no different. Aussies love their beef and McDonalds calls the big Angus burger here, the McOz. They add sliced beetroot (beets) and fried egg to the usual McConcoction. And they're not cheap. Here in Oz, McDonalds will run two people about $15-$18 for a lunch combo. No bargain, but then eating out in Australia is an expensive venture...even for fast food. There's always the “pie” alternative...21 for $21 at Phil Maney's.

Adding McCafe to their offerings was a great move as is their newer “healthier” menu items. Certainly there's always a bunch of kids in the innovative play areas. Interestingly enough, the prices for coffee aren't that much cheaper than anywhere else, but it's convenient and they're everywhere and the coffee is reasonably good...and there's that free wifi thing.

We stopped in at the McDonald's in Kingston the other morning for a flat white (half espresso/half steamed milk) and noticed they were offering a new 100% lamb burger. I think they're going to call it McLamburger … also with beetroot and egg. They saw no humor when I suggested calling it McBaaaa.

At the supermarket

I used to hate grocery shopping in the US. The same old routine week in-week out. But I love going to the supermarket in another country. Rather than just throwing stuff into a cart for the week's meals, shopping in a new country is foraging for food. It's exploring. It's an adventure. Australia is no exception. The whole experience is one I enjoy from start to finish. Well, maybe lugging all the groceries a mile with our backpacks stuffed to bursting and our aching arms laden with bags full of food isn't fun, but the shopping part is enjoyable. First off, shopping carts are called trolleys here and the wheels seem to move in all directions at once. You can understand why this is an adventure for me. I can't even control the cart...I mean trolley.

I see veggies I know, but unless the signs have a picture to accompany them, I have no idea what vegetable the signs are referring to. For instance, I noticed that witlof and Swedes were on sale the other day. Witlof...no idea. I know lots of Swedes, but doubt they'd be for sale. Turns out, witlof is endive. Swedes are yellow turnips aka rutabagas. Swede is the Swedish word for turnip. Now why would they call themselves turnips, I wonder? And so it goes. Courgettes are zucchini and aubergine is eggplant, both French words. Green and red peppers are green and red capsicum. Then there's beetroot which are beets and silverbeet which is chard, not to be confused with silverside which we'd call a rump roast. Hamburger or any ground meat is called mince...beef mince, pork mince, turkey mince, kangaroo mince. You get the hang of it after awhile, but it's an interesting learning experience. Carrots are called carrots.

There are so many differences despite the fact we ostensibly speak the same language. Something as mundane as a baking cup, i.e. cupcake paper, is called a patty pan, unless it's for a muffin which is larger than a cupcake here and then it's called a muffin “case”. Frosting is icing, so confectioner's sugar is icing sugar. Skim milk is trim milk. Jellos are called jellies and looking in the jelly/jam area, they don't have jelly at all. They have conserve, preserve and jam, but no jelly...well, maybe mint jelly, but that's in a different area.

Speaking of gelatin desserts, they have some odd flavors here: port wine, bubblegum and blue heaven. They have a breakfast cereal brand called Sanitarium. That's crazy.

In the candy aisle, they have lollies and gum, of course, and I've found that their black licorice is really good. I also discovered a “musk-flavored stick”which I did not buy. What do you suppose “musk” tastes like? When I think musk, I think aromatic glandular secretion... definitely not a candy flavor.

Then of course, there's Vegemite. We have nothing comparable to it in the US except that we tend to eat as much peanut butter per capita as Aussies eat Vegemite. What exactly is Vegemite? Good question...I think it's a distant relative of Spam. Actually, it's a dark brown pasty substance made from yeast extract, a by-product of beer production. Beer is produced in great quantity in Australia and hence there's lots of by-product for Vegemite. It comes in tubes and all size jars. Folks use Vegemite as a spread on bread, toast and crackers. Children are raised on it. Some people, I'm told, just eat it out of the jar. You can make a sandwich with it. You can add it to your gravy. You can mix it with boiling water and have a vitamin B-rich broth. There's Aussie-Mite and OzEmite and several others, but Kraft makes the real thing. A good deal of supermarket shelf space is allotted to Vegemite-type products. They say it's an acquired taste. I think we should buy some and give a try. Read that: Marcie will buy it and David will try it. It could be a YouTube moment.

Meat Pies in Tasmania

When I think “pies”, blueberry, apple and coconut cream come to mind. Flaky crusts with luscious fillings, smelling heavenly and lined up on the counter, ready to serve after Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. So the first time I popped into a pie shop here hoping to find something fruity and delicious, I was very surprised to find steak, bacon and cheese pies, curried veggie pies, sausage and egg pies, chicken pies, scallop pies and beef and kidney pies, but no “pie” pies. Did I mention we're in Australia? Pies in Australia and in New Zealand have taken on a whole new meaning for us. I'd say it was the British influence on their colonies, but of course, we were once a colony, too. The US has restaurants that specialize in outstanding pies in an ancillary way like Marie Callenders or Village Inn with huge display cases of pies as you enter. There don't seem to be any standalone pie shoppes. Australia seems to have defined a profitable niche market dedicated to meat pies that the US is obviously missing out on.

I mean we certainly have meat pies and chicken pot pies in the States. You can buy them in the frozen food case. David's Mom makes traditional Welsh pasties which are kind of like meat pies. As a kid, growing up in a French-Canadian household, we had torquay pies, a savory mince pie, around the holidays. I make Cottage Pie on board...a layered casserole of ground meat, corn and a topper of mashed potatoes. Last time I was home though, I didn't notice any fast food pie shops lining the streets, but I may have missed them. Here you can buy pies most anywhere...even the 7-11's have warm pies sitting in heated cases just waiting to be someone's lunch.

While we were in Hobart looking for boat parts (unusual, huh?), I saw a Phil Maney Pie Company and decided to poke my head in to see what they had to offer. He has a big sign on the roof that asks “Have you had your Phil today?” and another that says “21 pies for $21 (factory seconds)”. What's a factory second pie anyway? I needed to get to the bottom of this. I went in with my camera and said I was an American and wondered if I could take some pictures of Aussie pies. Well, it seems Phil Maney himself was there. He couldn't have been more obliging. I got my photos and a picture of him, too. I did not join the Phrequent Pie-ers Club (Buy 5, get one free). A factory second, by the way, is one which doesn't look “perfect”. I was thinking later that perhaps if they have 21 of them available at any one time, maybe someone's not watching what they're doing. But that's just me.

I looked on the internet. There are several pie shop franchising opportunities available here in Australia. There's Pie Face and Dinky Di's. There's Original Fried Pie, Big Dad's, King Pie and even a “How to Start Your Own Pie Shop” download, just in case you had a notion to do this.

The absolute ultimate pie in my book though is the pie floater. Now “floater” has a significantly different connotation in American English. In South Australia especially, a pie floater is a meat pie covered with a generous amount of catsup and floating upside down in thick split pea soup. I know it sounds absolutely appealing, but I haven't tried it yet. I'm going to have to work up to it.