FAQ - How do you handle arguments aboard?

Yes, we sometimes have heated discussions aboard Nine of Cups. We do squabble and quibble and quarrel on occasion, and yes, sometimes it escalates into a full-blown argument. It's rare and hard to believe, but admittedly, it's true. David and I do not always see eye to eye. What a revelation by people who pretty much spend 24x7 together! Our actions following an argument, (but before the make-up) can be somewhat limited and many times defined by our location. Arguments on the dock, for instance, provide many more options than arguments at sea.

Usually confrontation ensues when we're in stressful situations. Docking and anchoring are two culprits for many folks, although we've worked out some of the kinks over the past decade or so. Generally, arguments begin over something trivial and get blown out of proportion because of 1) foul moods of one or both crew members; 2) we're frustrated over something, like waiting for a part or a weather window; or 3) the captain is being stubborn and thinks he's right about something, when the first mate knows full well he's wrong. (Captain's comment: “As if!”) Sometime we're just overdue for a break, a change of venue and/or some individual “me” time.

We get angry in different ways. Marcie is emotional … she gets furious, shouts, stomps and slams doors, gets over it in an hour or two and she's fine. David is slow to anger and even slower to get over it. We don't swear or call each other names; we just seethe and sulk. At a marina, there's escape by just walking down the dock and mulling things over. At sea, we usually end up in different parts of the boat for as long as it takes … the aft bunk, the cockpit, the nav station, the galley, as far away from the other partner as possible … looking for our own private Idahoes and allowing ourselves to cool down. Once we're both back in a communicative frame of mind, it's pretty easy to resolve the issues, profess our humble, mutual apologies and get on with the day.

So … a long answer to a short question. What happens when we have an argument aboard? We fume, spout, sulk and pout and then we get over it.

Things We Miss on Land

We've written so many times about things we miss when we're at sea, I thought it was about time to write about the things we miss when we're on land because despite all the things we tend to grouse and whinge about, now that we're on land, we really miss living aboard Nine of Cups. No, we don't miss anchor watch or the fear of dragging or worrying about wind gusts and nasty weather, but there's so much more to living aboard. Basic, snug and homey

Probably the #1 thing I miss when we're on land is the simple, compact life of living aboard Nine of Cups. Space is good in a house, I guess, but I like the snug feel of Cups. I can sit at the saloon table and clear the dishes into the sink. There's no wasted space, no furniture; everything is built-in and every nook and cranny is used. It's the tiny house movement ... afloat.

Energy awareness

I miss being more attuned to energy usage. I find myself wasting energy and water when we're on land. We leave the water running, so that it gets hot for a shower or until we finish brushing our teeth. We don't recycle water for washing the decks or the floors. We leave the fridge door open while making decisions on what to eat. We leave lights on and things plugged in that really don't need to be on when we're not using them, e.g. our computers. We don't plan our driving trips efficiently, so we waste fuel. We ride to the supermarket when it's less than a mile away. The worst part? We become oblivious to the waste until we return to Cups and have to start monitoring and conserving again.

Regular, Unplanned Exercise

We tend to drive everywhere because we can and it's more convenient and takes less time. We don't do much walking or exercise unless we make a concerted effort to do so. There's no winching or hauling or toting laundry or getting on and off boats. There's no ½ mile walk to the marina bathrooms. We keep busy, but there's nowhere near the activity we're used to.

Slower pace

We miss the slower pace of living on a sailboat and traveling slowly. If we're doing 7 knot (that equates to ~8 mph), we think we're really tooling along. More frequently, we're doing 5 knots or less and it's fine. We like watching the world go by. No rush, no hustle, no bustle.

Being on the move

We really love arriving in new ports … and leaving them. We enjoy being on the move, planning itineraries and exploring. On land, we find ourselves visiting the same places over and over because that's where family lives. Though we work at exploring all the nooks and crannies (and Las Vegas and Boston certainly have lots of them), we find ourselves being less adventurous and returning to places we've already visited.

Sea Senses

We miss the rock of the boat and the lap of the water against the hull when we're falling asleep at night. We miss the breath sounds of dolphins swimming past during night watches and day sails. We miss the snapping sound of shrimp beneath the boat in quiet anchorages. We miss the peace and quiet of being alone in an anchorage. We haven't gotten used to traffic sounds and sirens yet.

Sunrises and sunsets

Of course there are sunrises and sunsets where we are, but they're not events like they are on the boat. We miss sundowners in the evenings in the cockpit and morning cuppas watching the sunrise.

When we're on land we miss the boat. When we're on the boat, we miss land. I guess the moral of this story is … we're never satisfied. Fortunately, we have the chance to experience and appreciate both!

Writing for Fun and Profit - Pt. 2

Getting an article published is exhilarating. The first time you see your words and photos in print is an absolute thrill. We write about sailing, cruising and the live-aboard lifestyle because that's what we do. You can write about any area of interest and it's pretty much guaranteed there will be a magazine that covers the topic.

Continuing with our ideas for getting published ...

1. Proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation are required. Need I say more?
2. Research your topic carefully. If you're using facts and/or statistics to give some depth and color to your article, make sure you document them well and provide the source, if necessary and where appropriate.

3. Many magazines will accept articles on “spec”. Others prefer you send a query. I call this a teaser. Write a short, succinct paragraph on your specific topic and why it will be of interest to their readers. They'll review what you send them and get back to you if they're interested. Send your best piece. Make the teaser irresistible. Then write the article. Make sure it's ready to go. Read, re-read and have someone else read it before you send it. Make sure it's as perfect as possible. If you don't hear from the editor within a couple of weeks, send a reminder, asking if there's any interest.

   Caution: Do NOT send the same query to several magazines at once. Be patient and submit to one publisher at a time. Most magazines want original, not previously published, material and want exclusive rights to it for some period of time (6 months or a year) in a specific geographic area (e.g. North America). If two or more magazines should happen to accept your article or idea and you have to tell one of them “no”, you probably won't get another opportunity at that magazine. If you don't hear in a month after a reminder, consider it dead and move on.

4. Don't be discouraged if you get a “reject” notice. It's common. Not every article received can be published. Find another magazine and send them the same teaser. We've had several articles rejected by one journal that were happily accepted by another.
5. If you get a bite and some interest in your teaser, respond immediately. Some will ask you to do a rewrite. Cut it down here...expound a little there. Get on it right away. We've had situations where the publisher delayed in responding and then we received an urgent email saying, “Oh, didn't I tell you? We need your article for the next publication. Can you send it and all the photos today?” Needless to say, having the article already written and ready to go was key. We scurried, but got it done.
6. A word about photos. A picture is worth a thousand words. Most magazines will want crisp, clean, high resolution, untouched images that help to tell your story. They will do their own cropping and editing. We usually send several and they choose the ones they feel are most appropriate.

I doubt you'll get rich from writing for magazines. We certainly don't, although we usually succeed in having about 10-15 articles published each year. An average article, depending on word count and number of photos, pays between $300-$800. You will, however, see your article in print, promote yourself, build confidence and polish your writing skills. Maybe that's enough!