A Severe Reprimand and an Open Apology

A disturbing incident occurred the other day and I thought I'd share it with you. I was frustrated with one of our vendors. I didn't think he was being very responsive and dealing with him ended up being quite inconvenient for us. Having owned our own small business for many years and having dealt with customers and their demands, I was disappointed in his level of customer service. When I called, the man with whom I'd been dealing was out. I talked instead with his partner and made my displeasure known. I do not think I was especially rude. I didn't raise my voice, but I did get my point across.

Well, she must have given her partner an earful because that evening I received a scathing e-mail from him in which he proceeded to call me all sorts of nasty names which included, but were not limited to, boastful, condescending, snide and a bully. He said I had upset his partner tremendously and then listed all of my transgressions. He demanded (yes, demanded) an immediate apology to his partner.

I picked up the email late at night and didn't sleep a wink after reading it. First, I was livid and once that passed I was left with a hollow feeling in my heart. I'm usually made of tougher stuff than this, but I think he was describing an ugly American, a stereotype we try hard to avoid, and it hurt me to the bone.

He continued by attacking our blog. “Both she and I would like to know if you consider her one of the third world people you mention on your blogs of Trinidad” and “Your schedule clearly has time to tour our lovely third world country, berating anything that is not good enough for you on your blog.”

Ouch! I went back and re-read the blogs. I didn't see anything that denigrated Trinidadian people nor did I ever use the phrase “third world people”. We didn't like one of the hotels we stayed at and were vocal about it. We were disappointed a couple of times in activities we'd chosen. I think we have the right to be disappointed and write about it.

After seething, I decided that responding immediately would be counter-productive and only add fuel to the fire. He'd only heard one side of the story and I think I had some valid complaints of my own to share. No matter, in order to get the job done and in the name of international relations, I called and apologized to his partner. I made no excuses ... just a straight-out, “I was wrong and I'm sincerely sorry if I upset you” apology. There was no graciousness or sincerity in her acceptance of my apology, only a reluctant “OK. Bye.” and a hang-up.

Once the work was completed (which turned out to be a very good job), the man who had sent the e-mail apologized to David and me. He said his response was not directed at me personally and he was sorry. I guess I need to chock it up to frustration on both sides or a bad day or an over-reaction. Whatever … it saddened me. I wish I could have discussed it more so that he saw my side of the story, but I felt it was best forgotten.

I am, however, sincerely apologetic to the woman who felt I bullied her or was condescending (and all those other things of which I was accused). Whether I intended it or not, if she felt it, I regret it. We have tried in the past 16 years, and all through our lives, to be respectful of all the people we meet, their culture and their countries. Sometimes I guess we fail, perhaps due to impatience, cultural differences or misunderstandings.

If you're a Trini and have been offended by our blogs about your beautiful country, we sincerely apologize. It was not our intent to be snide, nor condescending, nor rude, nor haughty. Our goal is to provide an honest picture of what we see, feel and experience in the places we visit.

Annual Ditch Bag/ Safety Inspection

I've heard them referred to as ditch bags, overboard bags, abandon-ship bags and grab bags. Whatever you call them, it's that time of year again. Annually, it's my job to complete the ditch bag/safety equipment inspections aboard Nine of Cups. I've blogged about this in the past, but I thought it might be a good reminder if you haven't done it in awhile that this might be a good time to consider doing it. It's one of those things that tends to slip your mind unless you have it on your calendar or pre-passage checklist.

I have a checklist I use and just work methodically down the list. I update it from time to time as we add or delete items from the list. Some checks are easy and take less than a minute … test the EPIRB and check that the decal is current, for instance. Some items, like making sure the spare GPS and VHF are operative, take a little longer since they're stored without batteries. Then there are others that are time-consuming like making sure the manual watermaker works and then re-pickling it. Nonetheless, since our lives might depend upon each and every one of these invaluable items, we inspect them yearly, hoping we'll never have to use them.

This year there were a number of things that needed updating. David got a new passport and our boat docs were renewed. I replaced the old docs with the new and also replaced the US$100 cash we borrowed when heading home to Las Vegas last time. There were several out of date AA batteries and I replaced those with some we'd brought back with us from the States. We must have borrowed and not returned the little screwdriver we pack with the VHF and GPS because it was nowhere to be found. I replaced it with a spare one from the tool drawer (probably the same one that was originally in the ditch bag).

Once the ditch bag inspection was complete and the contents repacked and stowed, I made notes for myself for next year's inspection. More batteries will need changing out next year as will some of the flares. Several of the meds are near their expiration dates, too. I moved on to the safety inspection.

Our inflatable PFDs are in good shape … both canisters showed green and the strobe lights and whistles work.

We added a new strobe light to the horseshoe just recently.

The fire extinguishers (all five of them) were fine except for the one in the cockpit which needed replacing. The others just needed their annual dusting off.

We have two EPIRBs aboard, one in the ditch bag (an older one) and one in a holder by the cockpit ladder, ready to grab in an emergency. I tested it, confirmed we'd put the new decal on it and rechecked the date for battery expiration.

Last, but certainly not least, I took a good look at our Great Circle life raft. It's mounted on the coach roof in a sealed canister, so there's not much to see. I noted, however, that it's due for its 3-year inspection in January 2017, so I put that on my calendar as a reminder.

The entire check took about an hour … well-spent time for safety and peace of mind.

We have an updated checklist available. If you'd like a copy, just drop an email to Gentry and she'll e-mail it to you.

Back on the Job

I'm pleased to report, the to-do list is growing shorter … at least the to-do list that has any chance of getting done. David has been working long, hard, hot days and it shows. Cups is looking great and David is looked tired. The topside repairs and painting are done … a tedious, labor-intensive project, but well worth doing. Cups' topsides are gleaming. We ordered a new vinyl decal for Nine of Cups, so she can have her name back on the stern … to be applied by a local sign company. The last decal was applied when Cups was christened in 2000. We got our money's worth. The cutlass bearing has been replaced, as well as the shaft seal. David will re-attach our carved Nine of Cups nameboards on the bow as soon as the varnish has cured.

Annual engine maintenance has been completed. The diesel and propane tanks have been topped up. David spent several days stripping the teak cap rail and trim pieces on the starboard side and then varnishing (actually Uroxsys, but I'll let him tell you about that). The varnishing, sanding, varnishing, sanding, varnishing process is also time and labor-intensive, but it was long past due and the results are stunning.

He's now working on replacing a through-hull and seacock. Unfortunately, it's located in the engine room, difficult to access and tough to work on. It has required cutting, grinding, pushing, pulling, grunting, sweating profusely, purchasing replacement parts and hoses and a significant amount of swearing. You'll definitely hear more about this in the days to come.

In between varnishing and through-hull work, he's still trying to revive the fridge. He tries and then temporarily gives up. He usually thinks about it for a day or two and/or sleeps on it and comes up with another thing to try. If the new idea doesn't work (and so far, it hasn't), he reverts to thinking and sleeping on it. He's persistent and resourceful. I'm hoping he's successful. The next couple of days will tell. We've decided we will not postpone our departure because of an inoperative fridge. We'll make do without refrigeration if we have to.

So what's left? I've just done our annual “ditch bag” and safety inspection (more on that later) and that's good to go. I've written a few extra blogs to keep you entertained while we're not in internet-land. We just purchased the bottom paint and we'll tackle that job very soon, as soon as the varnishing is complete. It's always one of those things that has to wait till the very last minute. We're hoping to splash within a day or two after the anti-fouling has been applied. Once we're back in the water, we still need a few days to get Cups put back together. We'll get used to living on the water again and get Cups ready for her first passage of the year.

David will reattach the head stay and we'll hank on the headsails which we stowed during our absence. The rig needs to be tuned. The heads need to be checked out to insure they're operating. All the instrumentation needs a thorough check. We'll launch the dink and make sure the dinghy engine is running properly. Things need to be stowed. There's last minute laundry and provisioning just before we leave. Provisioning this time will be a bit easier than it was the past few years … no oceans to cross and a few stops along the way to top up the larder.

Charting our course is always done just before we leave … mostly because we rarely decide where we're going till the last minute. We have downloaded the Carib and US east coast charts to the iPads though. Then there's the check-out procedure itself and, of course, waiting for a weather window.

Be patient … we're getting close.