A Gift of Life… You’ve Got Two… Share!

It all began with last year’s holiday letter from a friend. There was so much going on with the holidays when we received it, we put off reading it for a couple of weeks. When we finally retrieved it, we were surprised to learn that a long-time cruising friend was on dialysis and needed a kidney.

We first met Burger and Nancy aboard s/v Halekai when they arrived in time for an Easter celebration at the Puerto Lucia Marina in La Libertad, Ecuador back in 2005. Subsequently, Nancy encouraged us to become more active in the Seven Seas Cruising Assn, which we did. I ended up serving on the Association’s Board with Nancy and our relationship with them as a couple grew. We stayed with them in Annapolis on occasion. We shared meals together over the years and saw each other at gams. We learned that Burger had donated his skills as an ENT surgeon to help kids in the mountains of Ecuador for over a decade. We’ve kept in contact with them for over two decades, but we were not aware of Burger’s impending medical crisis. Receiving the news that Burger needed a kidney was a shock.

Nancy & Burger, friends and fellow sailing cruisers

We thought about it for a few days and then did some research. The National Kidney Registry provides an excellent overview on living kidney donations and the steps necessary to begin the process. A potential donor can decide to opt-out at any time with no repercussions. This was not a decision we would make without thoughtful consideration. It would involve major surgery with which there are always risks. It could be life-changing and life-altering for the donor and his/her family as well as the recipient.

The NKR tells a compelling story… “Many people do not realize that they may be medically qualified to donate a kidney to one of the more than 90,000 people in the United States currently waiting for a kidney. A kidney from a living donor not only allows the recipient to undergo a transplant much sooner, but also typically lasts longer than kidneys from deceased donors.”

We both opted to begin the process by completing a simple questionnaire after which we were scheduled for lab tests and screening at our convenience and NKR’s expense. And so began the journey. Since Burger was in North Carolina and registered at Wake Forest Baptist Medical (WFB), we were directed to their program. The number of calls and people we spoke to at WFB was amazing. Social workers, advocates and medical personnel reached out and guided us along the way. Were we being coerced in any way to donate a kidney? Were we being paid? What was our relationship to the recipient and why did we want to donate? Time and time again we were reminded that we could opt out at any point with no repercussions, with no explanation required, with no judgment. No one would be the wiser.

A previous kidney donor and mentor for NKDO (National Kidney Donor Org), Sarah, reached out to us and offered her first-hand experience on the process, procedure and recovery as well as her support. She checked in with us regularly answering questions as they popped up and cheerleading us on.

I was disqualified after another set of more precise lab tests administered here in Las Vegas and required by WFB. David was okayed to proceed and we scheduled a visit to WFB in late April. More testing was required. It was important to determine that David was a healthy candidate with minimal risk and that the kidney he would donate would be a good match for Burger. No stones were left unturned. Stress testing, colonoscopy, endoscopy, blood tests, urine tests… poking, prodding, blood-letting, and even a psychological evaluation to make sure David’s head was in this, too.

The only obstacle to a donation was timing. We’d already planned our summer road trip to the Maritimes and we were looking forward to it. Were we being selfish to want to go before the donation? We pondered the question for quite some time. Should we give up the summer? Six to eight weeks recovery time after the surgery would mean canceling the trip. Or should we postpone the surgery for a couple of months? We posed the question to our Coordinator at WFB asking for advice. She suggested that taking the summer might be good for many reasons, among them, giving final consideration to having a major unnecessary surgery and donating a body part at age 76.

The road trip was awesome and we returned to Las Vegas in September refreshed and enthusiastic to move forward with the donation. All the arrangements were made for surgery at WFB in mid-October. The countdown began.

Join us next time for the process and the outcome. It’s all good!

Let us add that the purpose of this and subsequent blogs regarding a living kidney transplant donation is not to extol David’s virtues or pat ourselves on the back for going forward with this. It’s to emphasize how donating a kidney to a friend or a stranger is life-changing for not only the recipient, but for the donor and his family. One receives the gift of life. The others realize that they’ve saved a life… what greater gift can one person give to another?

Consider checking out the NKR website. Consider donating a kidney. Too extreme? How about checking out your local Red Cross blood donation center and donating blood? How about ensuring your driver’s license reflects that you are an organ donor should the situation arise?

This is Part 1 of a 3-part series. Read more about David’s living donor kidney donation here.