Coming of Age

It seems whenever I’m talking with people lately, the topic of aging seems to crop up. Not just septuagenarians our age, but some older and some younger. It seems everybody is feeling the effects of aging.

I remember being 8 and couldn’t wait till I was a double digit. Then 12 and couldn’t wait to be a teenager, then 18, voting age and 21, drinking age. Then… well then, it was 30 and ‘over the hill’. Wow, that went fast! The older we get now, the younger 50s, 60s and early 70s sound. We’re young at heart for sure, but our aging bodies tell a different story.

The color, texture and thickness of my hair have changed. Without Excellence by L’Oreal, my hair color is gray and I’ve finally made the decision to let it happen. It was a bold move on my part, I thought. I still have a package of hair color in my top drawer, just in case I change my mind. The texture seems to be coarser and though my hair was never thick, now it’s definitely on the thin side… except where I don’t want it. Like on my chin!

My skin texture has changed also. Although we were fairly religious about using sunscreen, living aboard Nine of Cups for 18 years wreaked havoc on my skin. My dermatologist labels the discoloration patches ‘wisdom spots’. Wisdom spots, my eye, they’re aging spots. Living in the Mojave Desert also takes its toll. My skin gets dry and patchy if I don’t moisturize constantly. We’ve got wrinkles and our skin sags… they call it ‘creping’ because the skin is thin and saggy and wrinkly, like crepe paper. Lovely! Of course, gravity has set in to more than just skin. Let’s not discuss that here… okay?

I have to wear reading glasses now because my eyes tire and water easily when I read. David wears bifocals and has for years. I’ve avoided them thus far, content with $1.25 cheaters from Dollar Tree. Both of us have noticed hearing loss. No hearing aids yet, but I think it’s not far up the road.

Moving onto bones… my creak. Do yours? If I sit for any length of time, my back hurts and my legs get ‘stoved up’. We notice this especially if we’ve gone on a hike, then ride home. When we get out of Blanche, we walk lamely… like old people. My hands hurt sometimes and old ankle injuries sustained by both of us ache on occasion. David’s hip bothers him.

Disrupted sleep seems to be a common complaint among older people. What happened to that 8-10 hour ‘slept like a log’ comatose state we enjoyed as kids? Gone… long gone. We rarely sleep the whole night through. I usually go to sleep around 10PM; David is up till at least 11PM. Still, we’re both awake every morning by 4-4:30, even when we plan to sleep in late. Not to mention, I have to get up to pee at least once every night. David’s a camel so it’s not a problem for him, but of course, me getting up awakens him. Getting back to sleep is always a challenge.

This leads to afternoon naps. When 3 PM rolls around, our energy is usually depleted for the day. A 30-minute nap (sometimes longer), revives us long enough to get up, make dinner, do a little computer work and then relax for the evening… when the whole challenge of sleeping starts all over again. So, we thought, don’t take naps. Doesn’t matter… nap or no nap, sleep is elusive and 4:30AM we’re awake and ready to start the day.

Our brains are slower. We forget things. I’m constantly making lists (and then losing them). We pay less attention to detail, I think. I find that I repeat myself. We don’t take Prevagen or Neuriva, but maybe soon. Do they work? Who knows? There’s no proof they do, other than the myriad of TV ads we see every night testifying to the renewed brain power the users experience.

I’ve noticed my stamina has somewhat diminished, although we can probably keep up with most folks our age if not younger. We used to work 60-80 hours a week, maintain a household and at one time, managed six teenagers in the house. We couldn’t do that now (nor would we want to!). But we did just remove tile and carpeting from a good portion of our house and lay laminate wood flooring throughout. I’m not saying we didn’t need Tylenol by the end of each day, but we accomplished some major renovations on the house and worked hard without having to rely on the ‘old age card’.

I’ve read about Melandi Sanders’ “#we do not care” movement recently. An AI overview provides some explanation of the movement in a nutshell. “The central theme is a shift in perspective, where women feel less inclined to prioritize societal expectations and more inclined to embrace their authentic selves and their current experiences, even if those experiences include physical and emotional changes.” Body type, perfect hair and nails, and matching underwear are of less importance as we age and that’s okay. Our kids are independent and we can start taking care of ourselves more instead of always worrying about others.“While the club is often associated with perimenopause and menopause, it also touches on broader themes of self-acceptance, freedom from societal pressures, and prioritizing one's own well-being.”

It’s a nice concept. I rarely wear make-up when I go out any more… actually the pandemic was an impetus in that regard. In days past, I wouldn’t have considered leaving the house without putting ‘my face’ on. I don’t wear high heels any more or business suits. I rarely wear a dress for that matter. It’s not that I don’t care, I’ve just refocused what I do care about and it’s not about career, status, or the cost of raising and educating our children.

We do walk 4-5 miles every day, try to eat healthy foods, drink less alcohol than ever and manage our weight. Those are health issues and we take our chances of increasing our longevity seriously.

Our bucket lists are becoming less challenging as well. A few years ago, David’s list included climbing Mt. Denali, hiking the Appalachian Trail and biking across the U.S. Now it includes doin more Blue Highways or a European river cruise, although the Camino Santiago in Portugal is still there… for now anyway.

We used a free AI aging program to see what we might look like at age 95. It’s not pretty, but we’d still be kicking.

Are we embracing old age and accepting these changes gracefully? I wouldn’t go that far, but the alternative to aging is not very attractive and quite frankly, surgical procedures, injections and magic potions are just not our style. We’re happy to be aging together, enjoying life and accepting the changes as they happen. No regrets!