In the Galley - AFS

 

With my recent post on provisioning and my nifty Excel spreadsheets, you'd think I was the epitome of efficiency and always had exactly what I needed on the boat at any given time. Wrong! Invariably, when I'm looking for an ingredient that I'm sure is on the boat, it's actually back on the grocery store shelf where I pondered and pondered its purchase and decided not to buy it after all. Who needs tahini paste?

There's the other situation when though I plan for a couple weeks or more beyond our provisioning trips, we just use up more than anticipated or something I was counting on goes bad. I go into the larder and yikes! no corn, low on eggs, no butter, none of that special spice that makes everything taste good. This situation calls for drastic measures. It calls for imagination and creativity in the galley. It calls for AFS.

“AFS … hmm … what sort of abbreviation or acronym is that”, you're asking? It's not like a GPS or an AIS or even a VHF. AFS stands for Another F##$%#! Substitution. AFS is when you're missing three of the five ingredients from a recipe, but you decide to make it anyway. AFSs are common towards the end of a passage or the last days at a remote anchorage when you don't want to go back to land and you're willing to sacrifice “usual” for the more “unusual” outcomes in the galley.

Some substitutions are easy...white vinegar in place of an egg, pancake syrup in place of honey, canned or dried instead of fresh, walnuts instead of almonds. I'm talking a real substitution. I have a recipe for a Crab and Artichoke dip which we think is outstanding. Come to find out, if you don't have the crab NOR the artichoke, it still tastes okay or you can add mushrooms … assuming you have cream cheese (scrape off the blue, it's okay) and maybe some bread or crackers to put it on.

I have one of those Million Recipe software programs that allow you to enter the ingredients you have and it comes with a recipe that uses them. Unfortunately, when all you have are cans of stuff you've been avoiding eating, some moldy cheese, sauerkraut and a carrot, it's hard to come up with a reasonable recipe. David's fishing luck usually runs out about then, too. We make do.

Part of the challenge is making do with what you have and being happy with it instead of grousing about what you don't have. Certainly, with all the right ingredients, you can make most anything you want. It's the positive attitude and sense of ingenuity (and humor) that makes AFS cooking such an adventure.

On the other hand, I remember adding so much stuff to a tuna casserole (without the tuna) that I finally gave up and we pronounced it totally inedible. Peanut butter sandwiches that night! Sometimes the AFS approach just doesn't work, but when it does, I've got a whole new recipe.

Breakfast at the Modern Diner

 

We're not big fans of going out to eat. We used to enjoy it when we had regular paychecks coming in, but now it seems it's easier and cheaper to eat at home and the cook always serves up fresh ingredients and serves whatever we're in the mood for. The other morning, however, we had a chance to get out of the house for a few hours and wondered what we might do to take advantage of our precious free time together. We didn't want to go shopping and we've been feeling antzy to try something new ... go somewhere different for change. A little research had me looking for interesting things to see or do in nearby towns and the Modern Diner caught my attention.

First of all, we like diners. They're cheap, down-to-earth and though the offerings are not always the healthiest, the food is usually basic and tasty. The Modern is just over the Rhode Island state line in Pawtucket and it was mid-morning, so we headed there for breakfast. The Modern doesn't have a website or a Facebook page, but enough folks talk about it. Trip Advisor, Roadside America, Yelp, even Wikipedia had something to say.

Diners are nostalgic icons of another time in America. Coincidentally, Rhode Island calls itself “the diner state”. The first diner in the USA appeared just down the road in Providence, RI. Entrepreneur Walter Scott offered pies, light meals and hot coffee off his horse-drawn canteen truck to night workers during lunch breaks and at the ends of shifts back in 1872. I guess we can blame the American Industrial Revolution for beginning the fast food epidemic. I remember heading to the Rochdale Diner or the Cherry Valley Diner with my Dad when I was a little girl. The best part was sitting on the tall stools at the counter and twirling around until I fell off or Dad made me stop. Diners were common then. McDonalds was not.

A 1940 Sterling Streamliner, The Modern Diner is anything but modern nowadays. In fact, it's the first diner to be included on the National Register for Historic Places. Evidently, Disney used a sufficiently identifiable likeness of the Modern in one of their cartoons. The Modern folks sued, won and added a small addition, they call The Depot onto the back of the diner proper. I wasn't interested in dining in the non-diner portion though. It wouldn't have been the same.

A narrow corridor between the dining car and the Depot, serves as the entrance and waiting area. The parking lot looked crowded and there were already people waiting in line. We thought there would be a long wait on a busy weekend morning, but we were seated within 5-6 minutes, just long enough to let us peruse all the specials mounted in plastic on the wall.

This is a neighborhood kind of place. Everyone knew everyone. Most folks didn't even require a menu. People were friendly and full of good-natured chatter. We got a booth for two and coffee was offered immediately. We checked out the menus, but my mind was already made up … a tapenade omelet served with home fries and toast.

We ate, chatted and people-watched. Tall and short, fat and skinny, young and old made their way in and out for breakfast. Some waited for booths, but the singles just made their way to the counter. When the waiter was too busy to fill their coffee mugs, they went behind the counter and helped themselves.

The window beside me, looking out on East Street, had a bullet hole scar and I noted a bit of breeze streaming in from the outside. David assured me it was from an overzealous teen with a pellet gun, rather than a Magnum.

We might not eat out often, but we when we do, we strive for the distinctive. And today, we did just fine.

Twinkies Saved from Extinction

 

Hallelujah and thank the Lord, Hostess Twinkies, those “golden sponge cakes with creamy filling” will survive. I've read not one, but innumerable articles concerning the potential demise of this iconic cellophane-wrapped, long-life lunchbox filler. All you Aussie and Kiwis out there, no snickering. What's it like when Vegemite and Marmite are in short supply, huh?

Devil Dogs, RingDings, Yodels, Hostess Cupcakes, Little Debbies … all these junk food “snack cakes” stand second tier to Twinkies in my book. Granted none of them have any nutritional value, all are super high in sugar, calories, saturated fat and cholesterol, but still Twinkies have been around forever (or 1930, whichever came first). Urban legend has it that the same original Twinkies produced in the 1930's are still available for sale, having an eternal shelf life, but that's been debunked. They're only good for 45 days according to the latest info I could gather. Sometimes they're shipped frozen so retailers can mark their own expiration dates on them. That's very trusting.

So, here's the story in a nutshell. The Hostess Company filed bankruptcy in 2012 when they couldn't come to terms with the baker's union and thus had to stop production and went belly up. Twinkie consumption was down, too. Part of the problem they reckon, is that more people are eating healthy (darn!). They got bought out and the new company doesn't use union labor, so their costs are lower and they're hoping they can make a go of it and junk food junkies will consume more.

Touted as “the sweetest comeback in the history of ever” (man, who's their marketer?), the new Twinkies hit the shelves of WalMart on July 14, a day before the rest of the country. WalMart knows its customers! The new Twinkies are also a little smaller, and therefore have 15 less calories. I think that means you can eat more. I might add that Twinkies are also available in Mexico, manufactured by a subsidiary of Bimbo Bread. That in itself says something, huh?

Here's some Twinkie trivia for you:

According to Hostess, it takes 45 seconds to explode a Twinkie in the microwave. Good info to have.

The original filling flavor was banana.

The “old” shelf life of a Twinkie was considered only 26 days; the “new and improved” (and smaller) Twinkies last 45 days on the shelves.

President Clinton put a package of Twinkies in the national millennium time capsule (2000) as an “object of enduring American symbolism”. Really?

There are 39 ingredients in a Twinkie … including glue, rocks and petroleum.

Born in 1930, the Twinkie is 83 years old this year.