Unusual Gifts

Have you ever read O. Henry's “Gift of the Magi”? It's one of our favorite short stories and perhaps one of our favorite love stories, too. To give up something of yourself that you truly value in order to give joy to another is the ultimate idea of generosity and love. We don't exchange expensive gifts any more. (No matter what David says, a new dinghy engine or a whisker pole is not a gift in my book.) When we do, they're usually small in monetary value, but significant in worth. Cutting my hair wouldn't net me a penny (in fact, they'd charge me $50) and David has no watch fob to sell. We have to improvise. As we've traveled, we've received many, many gifts over the years. Those that have the least to give always seem give the most. Perhaps it's the thought and the amount of effort that go into some gifts that make them all the more special. I make a distinction here between bartering and outright gifts. Some gifts were exchanged; others were simply a token of friendship with no thought of remuneration.

In New Zealand, we met a Maori fellow who enjoyed carving bone and shells. He was an excellent craftsman and much of his work was in paua, New Zealand's beautiful opalescent abalone shell. Seeing his work, David asked if he'd ever tried working with nacre, the black pearl oyster shell of French Polynesia and he admitted, though he'd seen it, he'd never had access to any. We had lots aboard, gathered from shell piles in the Gambier and we made a trip back to give him some. He showed up at the boat a few days later with some kiwi feathers that he'd gathered from a kiwi nest. A gift, he said, to thank us for the shells. Totally unnecessary, and so very appreciated.

kiwi feathers

I became fast friends with Veronica at Suwarrow Atoll. She and her husband, John, and their three boys lived six months a year on a remote little island as caretakers for the Cook Island's only national park. We had learned before we left Bora Bora that they were out of propane and several other basics. There were no scheduled supply ships stopping at Suwarrow for the season. We arrived with a propane tank, some sugar, a blown-out mainsail and several other problems. Only accessible by boat, Suwarrow was frequented in season by hundreds of boats making their way across the Pacific. Most spent a few days and moved on. We spent three weeks trying to get our repairs done.

Vero realized from the start that we had lots of work to do and made room for us to get it done ashore. When there was a pot luck and I didn't have time to get back to the boat to prepare something, she'd always tell me she had made more than enough for our contribution, no worries. She'd bring down coconut water or a cup of tea during the day while I was repairing the sail on the beach. While other cruisers were visiting some of the atoll's many islets, David and I were working on our repairs. Finally, when we were finished, John and Vero offered a “private” tour with them of some of the off-limits islands which were breeding bird sanctuaries. When we left Suwarrow, I gave her one of my sundresses that she had admired so much. She gave me a bouquet of red-tailed tropic bird feathers. (Note: female tropic birds lose their tail feathers when they're nesting and Vero just collected them … she didn't pluck them!). Those feathers still reside on the boat in a place of honor.

red tropic bird feathers

In Vanuatu, Natu, the first grade teacher, was a sweetheart. It was easy to bond with her in the way women do. She was a mother of five, university-educated and lived in a thatched hut in a small village on Aneitym. We met at the school and spent many hours there and at her home, chatting about teaching and the importance of education for her village's children. While David helped the village men with solar panels, Natu showed me the many uses of taro. I held her baby and washed her. I found some needed school supplies for the kids … glue sticks were in high demand. When we left, she presented us with a hand-woven palm basket full of fresh fruit, vegetables and local flowers and a wonderfully, endearing hug. I was so moved, I nearly cried. What a lovely parting gift.

flowers and fruit

Black pearls in French Polynesia, tiny white pearls in the Cook islands, bead bracelets and molas from the Kunas of Panama, Pisco from fellow sailors in Peru, fresh fruit and veggies, cray fish, carvings, baskets ...the list goes on of the gifts we've received in our travels. Unsolicited, generous giving on the part of our hosts as signs of friendship. We are so often overwhelmed with the life we lead and the people we meet.

lobster

More than three decades ago, when asked what I'd like for some obscure holiday, I remember telling David in jest that I'd like a new ring. He obliged within hours, crafting a paper clip into a piece of “fine” jewelry. I wore that ring for a month till my finger turned green. I still have it, though I admit I don't wear it much … us, being on a boat and it, being fine jewelry and all. The spontaneous sweetness of it keeps it in my memory and reminds me how a simple, thoughtful gesture, no matter how small, can mean so much.

paper clip ring

So, to all of those people who make the 90-day rule come true and to Tim from Wisconsin who named some of my website butterflies for me and Phil in Sydney who sent us a jump drive with thousands of e-books and Gonzalo who keeps us supplied with sunscreen despite the fact he's in Peru and we're always in some obscure place and Miks in Maine who makes sure we have an email every day when we're at sea and so many others of you whom we've never met and who continually send us well wishes and good energy … we thank you most sincerely for your generous gifts!

A Hindu Cremation at Road to the Sea

Henri Fernandesweg is the official name of a side street off Kwattaweg, about 15km (10mi) northwest of Paramaribo city. It's popularly called Weg naar Zee, “The Road to the Sea” and it leads to the shores of the Atlantic. It's a popular birding site because it passes through agricultural lands, mudflats and mangroves. We did see herons and sandpipers, but it wasn't the birds we'd come for. The road also leads to a Hindu sanctuary, and nearby, is the oldest open-air cremation site in Suriname. herons in suriname

Births, weddings and deaths are key events in every culture. We had learned from several local sources attending a Hindu cremation was possible. We were interested. Hopefully, this doesn't sound too morbid or ghoulish to you … any more than visiting old graveyards. We read that strangers are welcome at the ceremony and photography is allowed, as some of the mourners would be photographing as well. The only rules … be respectful, stand up when the coffin arrives and do not hinder the proceedings.

The Road to the Sea was the best maintained, smoothest road we had driven on in all of Suriname. We drove past well-maintained homes. Hindu prayer flags mounted on bamboo poles adorned most yards.

 

nice neighborhood in suriname

We followed the road to the very end and found the Hindu sanctuary. It seemed totally deserted. Perhaps after the recent Diwali celebration (Hindu Festival of Lights), people didn't feel the need for sanctuary. It was spitting rain as we drove through the entrance.

entrance to hindu sanctuary in suriname

We didn't stay long. We admired the colossal, colorful statues of the many Hindu gods and goddesses.

hindu god in suriname

The grounds were beautifully kept. We could see that on another day, there would probably be many visitors, just not today. We felt as if we were trespassing upon a sacred place and we left.

hindu garden in suriname

We weren't sure of the exact location of the cremation site, but we noticed a continuous line of cars heading along another road which might lead to the sea. We followed like sheep. About 2 km away, we knew we were in the right spot. Cars had lined up and were parked on both sides of the road. We parked and once again, followed the crowd. We were told that cremations take place almost every weekday and usually begin at 2pm. It was 1pm as we wandered in the direction of crowd. We could see funeral pyres and then we saw a large covered area with people milling around … mostly dressed in white, the color worn by Hindus for mourning.

people in white at a hindu cremation in suriname

A large covered area with wooden benches at one end was filled with people. We saw a white coffin with family and friends crowded around it. Then, we saw two more coffins. Three separate wooden pyres had been constructed in an open area under small protective metal awnings. Men were waiting solemnly beside each. The rain came down in torrents.

preparing a hindu cremation site in suriname

 

waiting on the rain

Within minutes, men in white bearing one of the coffins, brought it to a cremation site, removed the lid and placed the coffin on the wooden pyre. Mourners followed. Shortly after, another coffin was brought to the second cremation site and finally the third coffin was brought out and laid carefully on its funeral pyre and the lid removed. Family and family led by a Hindu officiant dressed in white, followed and then gathered around.

bringing the coffin to the pyre in suriname

We rose, bowed our heads and waited for the proceedings to begin. From our vantage point, we watched as large tins of ghee (clarified butter) were poured over the body. The lid was replaced on the coffin and then men carefully stacked wood high around the coffin. The fire was lit. The white-clad, pallbearers, their heads shaven (perhaps acolytes ?), walked around the coffin, stopping to light the pyre at strategic places.

lighting the fire at a hindu cremation in suriname

The crowd stayed close. Some threw flower petals...a final farewell to a loved one or friend.

throwing flowers

As the flames grew in intensity, the awning was removed and the family withdrew. We could feel the heat from where we stood and hear the sound of the roaring blaze as it devoured the pyre.

 

blazing pyre

All three coffins now stood ablaze. The families had retreated under the large covered area. Food and drink had been set out. There was chatting and talking. Children ran around. In this aspect, not so different from Christian funerals we'd attended.

blazing pyre

We didn't understand much of the ritual and wish we had known more, but we found the ceremony to be solemn, respectful, and beautiful. The public, open air aspect of the Hundu cremation with family present seemed very personal. We thought it was a better farewell than the impersonal method with which we are familiar... a mortician delivering the body to a crematorium and collecting an urn of ashes a few days later. We're told that in the Hindu ceremony, the ashes would be gathered the next day by the family and scattered on the sea in a separate ritual. We considered this an unusual cultural experience and felt we were fortunate to be able to witness it.

New word for the day is Hindi – jhandi – prayer flag

hindu prayer flags in suriname