Surviving Pandemonium

Pandemonium – wild uproar or unrestrained disorder; tumult or chaos. It's also the capital of Hell in John Milton's epic poem Paradise Lost. “Capital of Hell” is a little strong, but unrestrained disorder … yup, that's been our lives for the last few days. We've been working hard, things are in total disarray, we can't remember where anything is … it's at one house or the other. We're all short-tempered, tired and ready to be done with the move, but still it goes on … and on.

We've been discarding things left and right. They don't fit; we won't use them; perhaps they're broken or just obsolete (audio tapes? VCR movies?) Half of them have been moved to the new house. We've had one moving sale and another is scheduled for next weekend. We've managed to lose all the signs we made. Where could they have gone? We picked them up after the last sale and it's only been a week for heaven's sake. I'm sure they'll turn up AFTER we need them.

We've really tried to keep the disorder to a minimum, but with five of us moving stuff and buying stuff, it's been pretty much impossible. Amazon is doing a land office business this month with just the Lynn clan purchases. We've cobbled together some of Mary's old furniture with thrift shop and consignment store buys. We've been haunting Craigslist and came up with a dining room set. We call it “eclectic” styling and thus far, it seems to work.

Hopefully, the chaos will soon lead to order. We each seem to have our realm of responsibility and have concentrated on settling those areas. Little by little, we see progress being made. Soon we anticipate that peace will descend. Paul will head off trucking to places currently unspecified. David and I will return to Nine of Cups in Trinidad. Mary and Karen will settle into a routine in the new house and get to know the new neighbors in the new neighborhood. By next year at this time, the moving pandemonium will be a distant memory … and we will have survived.

An Experiment in Sibling-ship

“You've bought a new house? Are you swallowing the anchor?” and the unequivocal answer is “No”. Then why buy a house in the middle of the desert? Well, it's an experiment that seems to make sense. David has three sibs … all unattached. It seemed to make sense to pool our resources, find a large enough house to accommodate us all and live together. It's not a new concept. Multi-generational families having been sharing homes for all time. Some countries and ethnic groups do it more often than others. So sibs sharing a house isn't all that unusual. It's not as common in the USA, but we figured we'd give it a try.

Having family living together provides a built-in support system, a sharing of responsibility and finances and a wonderful way for families to meld and take care of each other as they age. There are drawbacks, of course. We've all been independent for most of our lives, living apart from the sibs and making our own way in the world. We have different philosophies, different politics, different tastes in decorating and style. Now there are others who need to be consulted before you paint a room lavender or buy new living room furniture. We don't necessarily need total consensus, but it's nice when there's some agreement.

Honestly, over the past few weeks when stress levels have been particularly high and we're all exhausted from the move, we've had our moments. We've bickered and squabbled a bit. We've disagreed. But so far, the experiment seems to be working. Everyone has managed to compromise enough to accommodate a peaceful co-existence.

Marco Polo Speaks

I speak and speak ... but the listener retains only the words he is expecting.

It is not the voice that commands the story; it is the ear. - Marco Polo

Marco Polo states “I did not write half of what I saw, for I knew I would not be believed”. It's amazing how often we try to tell stories of our adventures and watch as people's eyes glaze over, and we realize they are not interested; they've stopped listening. We've learned to curtail our stories unless prompted, lest people lose interest in our company altogether. We've talked to other cruisers and they experience much the same reaction. It's reassuring that it's not just us.

We've discussed this phenomenon at length with fellow sailors. We think we're reasonably good storytellers; we think some of our adventures are worth sharing; so what's the problem? As Marco Polo states, “the listener retains only the words he is expecting”. If the words we speak are not expected, the listener turns off. Most people have no frame of reference for our life aboard a sailboat, for the constant travel, for foreign customs and lands, for big storms or endless seas. It's alien to them and since they cannot share the experience, they prefer not to listen. The chat turns to grandkids, or work, or recipes, or whatever seems to be common ground. Talk of sea adventures diminish in the chatter and we, then, are left to listen.

Sometimes our enthusiasm for travel and the liveaboard life is so unbelievable, our listeners think we're exaggerating and bragging rather than just sharing our stories. If they have visited the Caribbean Islands or ventured to the South Seas, it's a given that their experiences are vastly different from ours … and they'd rather recount their tales than listen to ours. Few members of our family follow our blog with any regularity. We can usually tell that they're not into our sailing life when we call and they ask where we are and what we're doing.

We've learned not to take it personally. It's not as much a lack of interest as it is a lack of familiarity with our non-traditional lifestyle. It's hard for non-sailors to comprehend the life we lead living on a sailboat. There's little common ground to share. School kids and the elderly seem to do best with the subject matter we present. They're either very eager to receive new information or patient and captive enough to listen to what we have to say. So … if you ask, we can talk your ears off, but we promise to stop when your eyes glaze over.